Shellene Drakes-Tull: I’m stuck in the sandwich: When caregivers need care, too - Toronto Star

Many of us who are in the middle of the sandwich don’t have the time, money, or support to escape for a few days. 

“We juggle family and friend responsibilities, work, parenting, and the everyday stuff — until someone you love is sick,” writes Shellene Drakes-Tull. “The priorities change, but they don’t disappear.”

Shellene Drakes-Tull is a Toronto-based storyteller, educator and the founder of Sweet Lime Communications. Reach her via email: sdrakestull@gmail.com.

I was scrolling social media and I saw someone say, “Stop saying you’re tired! Change the way you speak about yourself.” 

But what if I really am tired? What if it’s that bone-deep tiredness that the extra hour of sleep on Sunday didn’t help?

It’s been a rough few weeks in my life. I’ve been helping a very sick family member get back on their feet, all while managing my day-to-day responsibilities. During this harried time, my dishwasher rebelled and attempted to flood my basement.

I would have calmed my nerves with a cup of hot Earl Grey tea, but my kettle refused to work. While I was mourning the kettle, my toaster oven randomly caught fire. The washer threw an error message and then spit out a laundry load’s worth of water. 

After that, my Wi-Fi connection just stopped. We went back in time to 1982. I enjoyed it. The children? Not so much. 

As I tallied up the cost of basement repairs, new appliances and lost work hours, these everyday problems felt overwhelming because I already felt like I was operating at capacity. 

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